Another Semester is Over

Yesterday was the final day of class for the semester.  The last group had the topic "Creating a Multicultural Society in Mississippi."  As I arrived in the classroom, one student was standing outside the door, and two more were walking in in front of me.  The one took a deep breath, looked at me and said, "I am trying to prepare myself."  One of the two said, "Is she here yet?"  "Right behind you." :)

My usual instructions:  Just relax, have FUN with it; listen, and respond accordingly.

They were the most incredible group!  Achieved a "perfect 10" score, and I do not ever recall that happening.  What made that possible was the way that the group so interacted with each other--truly mutual aid--that it was rarely possible to tell who was the actual facilitator for the section and I had forgotten my list.  They emerged from the "I" to the "It"  (the 'group' rather than just individuals) so quickly that it was difficult to say who was actually leading that particular stage of the group!  Now that is group!  

Once again, I was impressed with their skills, but more so, with their critical thinking and the depth of their thinking about the topic.  They had some excellent points, examples, and awarenesses.  At one point, someone said, "We already have a multicultural society; the issue is accepting that."  Perhaps that should be the topic of the next group--"Promoting acceptance of a multicultural society in Mississippi."

At any rate, I am more confident in the possibility of that after yesterday's group.

Colour Revolt

I've added a new function to my blog--the play list.  Featured right now are songs from Colour Revolt.  The lead singer, Jesse Coppenbarger, graduated last May from the social work program at Ole Miss.  I had the fun of teaching him in 3 of the advanced practice classes, and not only is he a talented singer and song writer and musician, he had a natural ability to connect with clients.  Give him a listen, and see if you can find a copy of "Moses of the South."  I predict we will keep hearing from him.

The Power of Group

The second group of students did their final project, the facilitation of a group.  Beyond a doubt, one of the best group facilitations I have seen since I began this process several semesters ago.  Sometimes, you never know for sure how well a student has learned something, but when I watched them yesterday, I knew.  This was the "quiet" group--the ones who seldom offer comments in class, yet the level of their knowledge and skill was clear.  Afterward, I asked for their feedback first, in terms of what they thought they had done well.  At some point, one student said she noticed when she looked at the group composition that it was all quiet students, like herself, and she realized she would have to be more vocal than normal.  I laughed and said, "Now how do you suppose that happened?"  Then another student commented that it was noted that the group on Monday was all the more talkative, dominant students, and again I said "Now, how do you suppose that happened?"  I reinforced it was easier for them to demonstrate their skills in a group where there were not those dominant talkative people where a quieter person can fade, and only the vigilant leader who works to draw them out by being less dominant helps them to develop their own leadership.  But, I pointed out that now they had clearly demonstrated they had the skills and could do that, they now had to work to transfer that to groups where there were those dominant personalities, and how they had to be the vigilant ones to help groups achieve the level of balance in participation.  One of the most rewarding aspects of the process was how they really exemplified social work values: they did not talk over or interrupt each other; they were respectful when they disagreed with an opinion or idea offered about how to address the topic of issue, and they clearly worked to include all the group members.  They had excellent group dynamics on all four scales: communication, cohesion, social control norms, and culture.

The final thing that was so impressive was their ability to discuss the issues (their topic was the low pass rate on the social work license examination in Mississippi as compared with the national pass rate) in a comprehensive way.  They seemed to grasp the systemic nature of the problem, including the education system in MS, the influence of poverty, and the status of MS as a whole in terms of all the indicators of importance (economics, education, etc.)  They also did not let  programs off the hook, identifying the possibility that they were not being taught to apply knowledge to really practice social work, and that perhaps the standards of admission should be higher.  They referenced other programs where the admission requirements were higher, and questioned the relevance of that factor in the MS outcome.  And finally, they all agreed that THEY as well as US need to take action: that they as future social workers bore an obligation to help address the inequities that resulted in the unfavorable outcomes here; that the future social work students would be THEIR colleagues and that this group of students could and should help us to solve this problem.

It was another moment when I am hopeful for the future, and pleased to have been part of the present.

Healing Wounds and Fixing Floors

One would not think that putting a floor back in a bathroom would be all that good of a day.  It was freezing (literally 26) this morning when J and I went out to start cutting the sub floor for the bathroom.  He made some comment about the not fun day ahead.  I ventured the comment "I was kind of hoping it would be a day for us to work on repairing our wounded relationship." 

[I actually originally wrote what I thought was an important understanding between us, but Randy informs me I was all wrong.  Apparently, I do not have a grasp of reality when it comes to being present in a conversation, but Randy does, even though he was not present.   What an awesome super power.]

 I just played "gopher" and if he asked for it, I found it; if he said hand him something, I did; at one point, I said, "I know, I get to be the plumber's helper who crawls under the house into the slog" and he laughed and said yes.

The most important thing (besides working side by side with a son I cherish and having a reasonably good day doing it) was that we got the floor back in half the bathroom, the toilet back in and working, and the sub floor in the other half of the bathroom.  We did not want to put the floor back in that half yet as we need to do some plumbing before we are ready to do that.  It is just great to have the extra toilet back in the hall so we can stop playing keystone cops with dogs and father-in-law for the next week and a half!  I got creative with the black plastic sheeting and covered up the walls (will have to take a few pics later :) and cleaned the sink and toilet and vacuumed up all sawdust and debris from the floor.  I pronounced it leak-free and good to go for the next week and a half.  

And right now, that is all that matters. :)

Things are always better with a little time

The students did well on their last exam today (yes, the exam I finally managed to find).  Best of all, the first group of students who were doing their final group where they have to actually "do" a group on a pre-assigned topic did an awesome job.  I was so impressed at how they worked together and demonstrated such cohesion, as well as all the requisite skills.  It was a nice feeling for me, too, to realize that they have mastered the essentials in terms of knowing and being able to facilitate a group.

I made it home in time to cook a roast dinner for my family (I would worry less about this if not for my father-in-law's visit and his need to eat regularly) and have enjoyed a pleasant evening with my dogs and family.

Yes, even in the midst of rain, then snow, then sleet, all of which we have had today, and in the midst of holes in the floor, leaking pipes and $135 plumbing bills (money well spent and well earned, I might add), it has been a good day.  

What was I thinking postscript

I finally went back to sleep a bit after 4 and was so sound asleep when the alarm went off that it was like fighting my way out of water to wake up.  I was walking down the hall from the kitchen and passed the hall bathroom door and heard....running water.  I opened the door, turned on the light, and yes, distinct sound of water hitting the ground under the house.  Got the flashlight--yep, big old leak under our sink, just pouring water out into the already mired mess.

Rand called the plumber, and told him the good news was since there was no floor in the hall bath, it would be really easy to get to the leak.  Fortunately, he was able to come right out.  Those who have kept up with the ongoing trials of having bought a house that William S. Ashley, current "builder" in Oxford "remodeled" will not be surprised to know that the plumber said the pipe was broken.  It apparently had been broken on installation and wrapped with duct tape.  Those who remember our earlier story of discovering a leak in the pipes to the water heater--which had been cleverly disguised with insulation tape--will not be shocked by both the ineptitude of this person and his obvious dishonesty and duplicity.  I say obvious dishonesty and duplicity as one does not "accidentally" tape over a pipe after breaking it.  

Randy told the plumber we would be calling him when we got ready to put the shower back in. :)  I say, money well spent.  The guy should know us well by now--he has repaired the electrical line the the water well that shorted out after Will cut it with a shovel and then just wrapped wire around it rather than repair it, and the toilet that was not seated properly on installation, which also contributed to the water damage of the floor.

He was featured in a real estate magazine here not long ago, as "Oxford welcomes new developer" and a story about his latest condo project.  I suggested I send pictures and our story and ask if they would like the "prequel" to his "success."  LOL 

What was I thinking?

It's 3 AM and I have been awake for over an hour, obsessing about the floorless bathroom, and however in the world I am going to finish it, finish the last week of class and prepare for finals, all whilst trying to juggle 5 dogs, a frail father-in-law, a cranky son and husband, all with one bathroom and it's in my bedroom.  At times like these, I wonder why folks have such difficulty getting along and treating each other with kindness.  Like it is already a trying and difficult situation, so let's make it more difficult?

As often happens in an old house, one thing going wrong just seems to lead to 10 more things going wrong.  Suffice it to say, the old floor and sub-floor are out of the hall bathroom;  of course it would rain all day, and by now, it is a veritable river flowing under the house where we are trying to stand whilst working.  Finally, at about 8 p.m. we got the last of the support 2x4s in place along the joists so we can better brace the sub-floor.  We had hoped to have the floor back in and the toilet back in last night, but that just did not happen.

I took a break at 6, put on a clean tee shirt and bandana and cooked ham, eggs, fried potatoes and rolls as that was the fastest thing possible and I knew Chet needed to eat.  About 8, I cleaned up the kitchen and loaded the dishwasher and then went to shower.  Finally all dogs were situated for the night and I was in bed, totally not having graded papers over the break, and unable to find the exam that I have to give at 9 AM today.  

I woke at 1:30 when Chet came in to go to the bathroom and was unable to go back to sleep again, what with beginning to think about the floor and how to finish it so I can get the toilet back in.  I know that accomplishes nothing, and I tried all my usual methods of shutting off my thoughts to get back to sleep, but between Kate hogging my side of the bed and Randy snoring and my overactive mind, it just did not work.  I finally got up, looked for the exam, which I cannot find, and thought perhaps it would help if I just wrote a bit.  Sometimes that helps me clear my thinking, release the thoughts that are troubling me, and help me see the things that I am missing.

I remember in St. Paul this past summer how the first few nights I would awaken mid-sleep cycle, my brain just overloaded with experiences.  I would journal, sometimes for an hour or two, and it was amazing what my experiences were producing in terms of clarity.  Now while I don't think I am having that kind of "epiphany" here this morning, it does remind me of it, and how often I resolve issues at early hours.  I used to have the greatest clarity and understanding just as I got in the shower upon awakening.  It was like some kind of thought process was going on during my sleep hours that resolved all kinds of issues for me.

Maybe it is all that there was just too much in a short period of time this week.  It has been bittersweet having Chet here--reminds me of missing Jean, and thinking about what she would have been saying or doing while here.  When I suggested ham and eggs for dinner last night, Chet said he and Jean used to have that on Saturday nights.  

J is getting ready to go to California for a couple of weeks to visit his friend.  They have been planning it for some while, and I don't know why now is suddenly the timing, but I am glad he is getting to go.  She was supposed to visit here last summer, but was unable to get off work at the time.  He will be out there for Christmas.  I was kind of excited that for the first time in several years, he and his dad and I would be here at home for Christmas.  Two years ago, Rando was gone, and last year, Rand and I both were gone and J stayed here.  Looks like this year it will just be me and Rand and the dogs.  At least by then, I hope to have a nice new bathroom. :)

And, alas, back to the bathroom.  The plan for the sub-flooring and flooring is complicated only a tiny bit by still not knowing whether we are going back in with a tub/shower combo or just building a shower.  The bath (being an old house, and a hall bath) is quite small and does not lend itself to many options.  We want to make re-plumbing the shower as easy as possible, given it may be difficult to find a plumber willing to crawl through the LaBrea Tar Pits to get underneath the bathroom and re-fit the drain if need be.  I know plumbers deal with all kinds of unpleasantries in their line of work, but it defies my imagination that one would want to crawl under this house right now.  So, my main goal for the moment is to just get a toilet back in there, which will make dog and bathroom juggling immensely easier on all of us.

In the meantime, I need to chalk this one up for future remembering:  no matter how simple the job seems, allow 4 times longer than I needed; never do it at the end of the semester; never do it thinking you will be done before company arrives.  After I had dumped about the 15th 5 gallon bucket of destruction debris yesterday, I was walking back to the house asking myself why I bought this house.  Withe each new thing we have to repair, replace, or rebuild where Will did not know what he was doing, and apparently, neither did the home inspector that we paid a hefty sum to assess the condition of the home before signing on the dotted line, I have wished that we had never bought it.  As much as I love my little hill, my neighborhood, the awesome view when I am sitting in my front yard enjoying the birds or the chimenea, the "cosmetic" things the home inspector said were the only real problems have turned out to be a bit of an understatement.

At times like these, I just call to mind the people I know in South Africa living in a two room shanty with leaking roof, no bathroom or toilet of any kind, linoleum on top of a sand floor, no running water (except for what drips through the roof when it rains) and it helps me get it all back into perspective.  Or as my friend would likely say, I am just being way too serious again. :)