On the way to Abilene

Yeah! Almost there--only 2 more hours! Kate says she is ready.

Update:we are here and I wasted no time getting into my pajamas and bed. I've said it before but this time I mean it--no more one day trips. It is fly or 2 days from now on. Arthritis and sitting in a truck for 13 hours are not good partners. I like to have time to stop and see interesting buildings, too and in a 12-13 hour trip, that's a luxury I don't have.

We had the usual adventures: long boring stretches on the interstate, too much fast food, searching for a pharmacy for the things we forgot, and hitting Dallas at peak traffic with two wrecks on the interstate.

On the one hand it would have seemed so natural to head for parsons lane and right into my old house. On the other I feel so out of sync and out of purpose when I am out of Mississippi that even a few days here is odd.

But for now, Kate says it is bedtime and is stretched out full length on Randy's side of the bed. I think she has the right idea.

Maybe my iPad was worth what it cost: late night surfing from bed

Yesterday was perfect chimenea weather:  just cool enough for a fire, but not so cold as to be unpleasant in my super-warm KUCB Unalaska hoodie sweatshirt.  I gathered up the usual ready supply of small limbs ever-present in my yard, pulled my Adirondack chair close enough to tend the fire, and wiled away an hour or so wondering when the end of the semester emails would start to arrive.  I did not have to wait long.

I confess to a degree of annoyance lingering on about my plans having to change...I now have to do what I didn't want to do, and don't get to do what I did want to do.  I have to make two stops now that I did not intend nor want to make.  Maybe in my old age I am turning into a curmudgeon, but it just seems like one of these years, I could get to do the end of the semester obligatory trip to Texas exactly the way that I want to instead of fit my plans around everyone else's plans.  But, I digress, and enough of the whining.

I woke up shortly after 2 a.m. this morning and could not get back to sleep.  Oh, wow, surfing the Internet without even having to get out of bed, nor sit up if I did not choose to do so!  iPad: 1; desktop: 0.

I was just going to check emails, and then look at my blog list.  As usual, that starts me off on some kind of treasure hunt.  I get sidetracked with looking at a blog on someone's blogroll (what is it that a blog about pictures of your household decorations commands 451 followers?) or reading something that sends me on a search.  For example, I've been trying to find a picture of the First National Bank Building in Vicksburg ever since Malvaney posted the post card of the bank.  So far, the best I can do is one image of the columns, and a street view that includes a door, but nothing that shows the building proper.  While snug and comfy under the covers, the iPad was a breeze to handle, unlike the lap top which requires much more effort.  No wonder people like those kindle books--it was easy to hold, light weight, and required minimal effort.  Next thing I knew, it was 6:20 and the dogs wanted to be fed and I was ready to go back to sleep.

Grades are in, I'm not in Texas, and is this iPad really worth what it cost?

I should be in Texas right now, sitting down to dinner with my folks.  I'll say one thing about all the years that Randy and I have left for Texas the moment the semester was over: I could grade in the car while he drove, and then enter grades as soon as we hit the Internet.  Many the year I entered grades on my iPhone.  I really did not want to do that for a change, and thought I would manage to get them all done by yesterday so I could depart early this morning.

 Libby has patiently watched me at the computer all day long...for the umpteenth time this week, nae, this month.  When I called my mom to tell her I was not only not in Texas, I was not even out of Mississippi, because I just submitted my grades a nano-second ago, she said: "You know why?  Because you really read the papers, and take time to evaluate them,  instead of just glancing at them and marking something."  She's right--it's my curse.  I go to a lot of trouble and extra work to provide a rubric for each assignment for how I will evaluate it, so I figure I ought to use it.  I confess, when the rubric says how many examples they need to provide, how many theories they need to use, which aspects of the model they need to address, it is really difficult for me to cut some slack on students who don't use even one example, don't use even one theory, don't use the part of the model I said to use, etc, ad infinitum.  When a student has the questions for the final exam a week in advance of the due date, and the exact information needed to answer the question is to be found in my lecture notes, the text book, or the assigned readings, or assignments already supposed to have been done, and then still does not actually address what was asked, it's hard for me to cut some slack.

Picture: Orchid from a former student; brought it home to nurture over the break.

 Now, here's the deal in Mississippi: If you are even a somewhat regular reader: you already know what I think about the reading comprehension ability of many of the students who live here.  I don't blame them. After all, if you got all the way through high school and admitted to a university, and are a senior (that's when I get them) and somehow you have made it that far, you might think you have the necessary skills.  But, and here's the rub, when I ask a question like "What knowledge from non-social work  classes do you need to know to ______?" and students start talking about anything but the other classes they have taken outside of social work, I have to wonder.  Non-social work classes answers: history, to understand in what era they lived and how that might have affected development and world-view; political science, to understand if they were able to vote, or what it took to become franchised; English, to understand their literacy, language skills, etc.; Philosophy, Sociology, etc.  Unrelated to the question answers: hearing impairments, cultural background, medication, etc.

Picture: Debra's orchid from a student; brought it home to attempt to revive it.

 I really want students to succeed.  I send countless emails, respond to emails 24/7,  write notes on their papers, ask them to come meet me with.  I can count on the fingers of one hand how many students out of all 3 classes I taught this semester did so.  I confess to struggling with the idea that a student wants to "pass" more than she or he wants to "learn."  I will work all day long to help a student grasp a concept when she or he really wants to understand.  I have had those students this semester who did that: who were in my office and discussing issues with me in the attempt to figure out a concept.  I am going out on a limb here and saying I would rather have that person be helping me someday if I am in a hospital or a nursing home than the one who struggled academically but never once bothered to come talk to me and attempt to understand.

Picture:  Sometimes, it's good to be someone else.

And the iPad?  Honestly, I thought it would take better pictures.  I wanted something that would let me access the Internet when I did not have Internet, yet with a bigger screen than my iPhone.  For someone who is so easily amused, sometimes, I am so easily disappointed.

Pronoia: Not all it is cracked up to be, and everything I ever wanted.

 You know those days when everything seems to be in a fog, not in focus?  You know it's out there, you can make it out, but it is not as clear as you would like.  Yep, today.  It actually dawned clear and sunny here, and my mood matched the weather first thing this morning.

 And then, there you are, standing on a cliff, looking at the drop, saying "huh?".

 There is a part of you that just wants to withdraw, crawl back in the safety of the nest.  After all, you don't always get what you want out here.

 And then, hope emerges again.  We pick it up and go on.  After all, what else is there to do unless we crawl back into that fox hole and lie in the dark?  When you are a pronoid, you just can't hang out in the dark very long.

 So, sometimes while it is best to let sleeping seals lie undisturbed, there are times...

...it is best to move on toward the flowers blooming in the rocks and volcanic ashes, showing that once again, we are indomitable.  No matter that we are disappointed, we will rise up, and do it anyway, what ever it takes.

Snowy drive to Mound Bayou

Yesterday morning began with snow--it was falling fairly fast by 8 when we met for the drive to Mound Bayou.  It was the first meeting for the Taborian Hospital renovation project--the Taborian Urgent Care Clinic.   It was Chris' first trip to the Delta, and it was quite striking with the snow covering the fields--the miles and miles of fields on either side of highway 6 heading towards Clarksdale.

I pointed out the Taborian as we drove past and made the turn to the city hall.  Chris remarked that he thought he would be able to find his way to Mound Bayou alone now--only 2 turns required.  Drive straight to Clarksdale, turn left, drive straight to Mound Bayou, turn left.  It was almost like "going home" as I saw the people I have come to know over the past few months.

I heard the distinct difference in how people from there pronounce the name of the town--Mound Bye-yah. How could I have missed that all these times?  Perhaps it was just because we were all gathered in a room, and people were saying Mound Bayou a lot!  For obvious reasons, I won't talk about the particulars of the meeting regarding the project itself.  The main purpose was to introduce ourselves to each other, identify what we brought to the project, and what we needed, and to lay out the plans for the future.  It was exactly the kind of meeting I love--expertly facilitated by the project director.  This is going to be such great fun over the next year!

Every time I think about my work being fun, it reminds me of the time Gigi and I were doing a workshop for NASW on community building.  It was clear that the group was enjoying the workshop, and that we accomplished our intended purpose in terms of their learning.  One participant wrote on our evaluations, however, "You two need to get serious and stop having so much fun."  We laughed.  Life is hard enough as it is, so let's make it an even bigger drag?

And on that note, it's time for me to go "have some fun" at my day job.  I've lolly-gagged long enough this sunny morning and I need to get to the rip-roaring jolly good time of grading some more papers.

Things I have, things I wish I had, and things I don't need.

While I was in Atlanta last month, I found a new-to-me South African wine: Doolhof's (out of Paarl) Dark Lady of the Labyrinth Dark Pinotage.  Smooth, silky tannins with a smoky finish.  I wish I had some.

While I was looking for new trays after Kate knocked my other ones off the counter and broke them, I found something I've been wanting: a cast iron teapot.  It keeps the tea hot enough to last through the pot, and one thing I don't like is cold tea unless it is the kind with ice in it.

I have a spiffy autographed poster of the James Pirkle Blues Band.  I wish I had a frame for it, and a CD of my favorite James Pirkle Blues Band songs.

I have two tea cup & saucer sets of this great guinea pattern that I bought on my last South Africa trip.  I wish I had an entire set of dishes in the pattern.  But, enough of my petty wants.

I drove down to Water Valley Saturday morning to the BTC Old Fashioned Grocery Store.  Just as I pulled into Main Street, I noted the line-up for the Christmas parade.  Oops.  I took a side road, and snaked in and out until I could reach the back of the store a half a block away and walk up to the front door.  The parade was just beginning and from the announcer:

Leading off our parade, and just fresh off a bear hunt, Col. Reb, representing the Col. Reb Political Action Committee.

Huh?  Will these people just never give it a rest?  (Answer: no, apparently they won't, but more on that in a minute.)

I did my shopping for some more of the yummy local grass-fed beef, local pork chops, fresh bread, Mountain Valley sparking spring water, and long-leaf tea.  My check-out total was a whopping $130.  That's not news these days; I spend close to that or more on every trip to Kroger these days for less.  I had 6 steaks, 2 packages of stew meat, 6 pork chops, and 4 chicken breasts, Cora's home-made lasagna, 2 large packages of cheese, pepper corns, 2 bags of tea, a bag of Eduardo's whole wheat linguini, butter, and 2 loaves of fresh bread.  I can guarantee I would not have had that much meat, let alone locally-raised and hormone-free meat, at the supermarket for that amount of money.

Back home, I looked up the Col. Reb PAC.  I think I vaguely remember this from the summer, but apparently, the sole mission of the CRPAC is to introduce legislation to amend the Mississippi state constitution to require Col. Reb be declared the sole official, permanent mascot of the University of Mississippi, and require he be a visible presence at all athletic events, and require his image be on every thing from Ole Miss that has the University name on it.

Really.  I could not make up something like this. So, here we are with the highest teenage pregnancy rate, highest infant mortality rate, highest poverty rate, highest obesity rate, lowest academic performance at reading and math in the nation, poor performing public schools, lack of employment, and inadequate housing, and people want to change the constitution to require the reinstatement of a mascot who until 1979 was not even the mascot.

Whitney Young, where are you?  If ever we needed the great communicator and the great negotiator, it's now.  Something tells me even Whitney Young would have had a tough time with this one.

End of the Semester: You've got a friend in me.

Yesterday marked the end of the fall semester.  Nothing left but finals next week, finishing up the administrative tasks, and then a couple of weeks of break until the January class in Mound Bayou.  I'll be traveling to Mound Bayou Wednesday for a meeting about the grant that was recently awarded to restore the Taborian Hospital and develop the Taborian Urgent Care Clinic.  Although there have been some highlights along the way, like the Taborian news, it has also been a semester of looking for direction, and everywhere we needed to go seemed a long way off.

  

There have been a lot of days where we felt like we were just hanging on.  The overloads, the efforts on the research and grants, the travel, the never-ending preparations for class, new standards soon to be implemented.  Every once in a while someone mentions what an "easy" job I have.  I usually just smile and say I am fortunate to do something I love.  They see the break at the end of the semester, or spring break, but they don't see the hours at night grading papers or preparing for class, the weekends I spend on class prep or writing for research or some other administrative requirement for which there is no time during the day.  Still, I am not complaining: I am fortunate, and I know it.  While there have certainly been bumps in the road (and I've been on it a while, so that's a lot of bumps), it's been a great journey.  As Louis L'amour put it:

The trail is the thing, not the end of the trail.  Travel too fast, and you miss all you are traveling for. (Ride the Dark Trail, 1984).

I spent well over 8 hours this week (I know, that is a lot of time for someone who does not have much of it this time of year) putting together a movie that lasted 8 minutes.  It was for my last class of the semester, the class on social work practice with groups.  This class has been one of the challenging ones, and I have struggled, and they have struggled.  This week, though, as each group did their presentation on the group project (they present on how their group developed the intervention presented in the community), I see that they have learned much more than perhaps the rest of the semester has shown and I shared that with them.

There were a lot of "bumps in the road" in our work with Riverside this semester, and we were really unable to do what we usually do.  We did manage 3 interventions, and each of them was well-received as always by the community members, but we did not get to do our final interventions nor terminate with the community for this semester.  It was disappointing to the students, and I imagine, to the community.  I have had thoughts that due to all the changes from when we first started, perhaps this semester has signaled that it is time to terminate not just for the semester, but perhaps, for the project itself.

 I'm not certain of all of my emotions or thoughts behind the decision to make the slideshow, but I selected from the hundreds of photographs I have of our work there for 5 years--those that I thought illustrated the essence of our work: the variety of activities, the many community members, both parents and children, the Ole Miss students, the Ole Miss and community volunteers who have joined us from time to time--and set them to the music of "You've got a friend in me."  Eight minutes to show 5 years.

 The classroom was dark; there was no texting or talking going on for a change.  When it was over, I stood up, and my emotion was evident.  I said I thought I might be about to cry.  A student with tears in her eyes, said go ahead, so were they.  I looked around the room, and there were several students who were visibly emotional.  In a voice that was shaking, I said,

I do not have a prepared speech.  But you all have no idea what you have done in this community in the last 5 years.

 One asked, "So, are you going to continue the project?  Are you going to go back?"