Walnut Room this way

Walnut Room this way

Saturday, January 31, 2009

Maybe I really don't understand

Well, so much for principled stands.  I did it: I put my "money where my mouth was" and honored my conviction.  Then I find out that the whole big issue over which I am so concerned about that "bigger picture" and our narrow short-sited view?  The "other side" acquiesced and gave in to the narrow short-sited view and everyone is happy.  That is the story, at least.

Now, it isn't about my needing to be happy; frankly, I choose being happy most of the time, and I am not currently unhappy.  It reminds me of "Games people play" and when you feel confused suddenly, that's when you know you have been "switched on."  I just keep thinking about how there is a greater meaning in this than just the event itself, and I keep reaching for what that is under the issue.

In families, when we are doing family therapy, we try to look not at content, but at process.  What are the patterns in the communication?  It is not what is actually said, or what the issue is about, but the meaning that underlies that communication that is of concern.  I started trying to do that, and suddenly realized I did not care about the patterns; in this situation, I cared about the content.  

I give up.  I just need to make a phone call and tell someone thank you for changing my flat tire.  Let him figure out what that communication means. :)

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